ethecofem
To the devil with this expectation | January 23, 2010
by Danny
Okay as most people know (at least American) beauty culture expects women to shave their armpits and legs. I know simply by virtue of it being an imposed expectation I don’t like it. Seriously who the hell has any business telling someone what they should to be considered beautiful right? But there’s nothing like a little personal experience right?*
About two weeks ago I decided out of curiosity to shave the hair from under my arms. Having shaved my face for about 15 years I knew enough about hair to know what would happen when I shaved under my arms. And boy did it happen.
I really didn’t like it. I mean yeah it felt smooth for the first day or so but the bumping that happens after shaving was really uncomfortable. The itching is maddening.
Like I said I tried this out because simply to get an idea of what it felt like. But since I am already against the idea of imposing unfair beauty expectations on people the discomfort of trying to conform just makes it even worse.
This experiment makes me wonder. As I said I’ve been shaving my face for about 15 years at this point I wonder if I do it because I like the way my face looks when shaven or because I’m caught up in the expectation of shaving so that society will not write me off as a dirty grizzly man.
* – I know that not being a woman I’m not getting the full experience of knowing how it feels to have society expecting me to shave my arm pits (I have my own set of societal expectations to deal with).
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Haha, awesome. Just wait’ll you try the Brazillian bikini wax, it’s delightful.
(I don’t know which hurts more, the procedure, or the pricetag…)
Comment by Melissa — January 24, 2010 @ 12:29 am
Actually I had a small comment on that that I too out. You can’t wax what you’ve already shaved off…
Comment by Danny — January 24, 2010 @ 1:49 am
You know, I’ve always considered that particular body area to be equal in terms of societal expectations for hair/hair removal. I mean obviously, the pictures in Playboy and mainstream hetero porn usually consist of completely hairless vaginal area, but in the “real world,” it seems like it’s expected of both genders to at least trim, and totally not unexpected for either one to be hairless (speaking heterosexually, in this case).
Just a side thought to that whole thing…
Comment by April — January 26, 2010 @ 3:58 am
That’s awesome that you tried this.
When I first started becoming more interested in gender issues, I decided to stop shaving my legs for a year. It was weird, because I wasn’t used to it, but I liked it. I still do sometimes now, though, if only because it’s just easier to not go out of my way to make a point about gender expectations all the time, when someone might ask. But I hope that soon enough, I stop caring altogether.
Comment by April — January 24, 2010 @ 6:05 pm
Ahh, gender expectations. One of my top ten favorite things to get all riled up about.
Although it’s taken me years to get to this place, and sadly, I’m a long way away from applying this to other areas of beauty standard nonsense, I believe firmly that one’s hair removal regimens should have everything to do with practicality and hygiene decisions made by the individual who owns the hair. Society/friends/partners need to stay out of it.
Personally, I don’t shave my legs between September and May, haven’t for about a decade. I’m skinny- it helps to have more insulation in the winter and it literally feels cooler in the summer. At the same time, while I don’t feel aesthetically compelled to shave my armpits, I do because I don’t wear deodorant, so I smell better for it (office acceptable).
On top of that, I would estimate that nearly half the women I work with have a similar mix, or just don’t shave at all for political and personal reasons. No one bats an eye at work. Not to mention, that one I’ve ever dated has complained of my legs in the winter, and if they did, I’d know things were unlikely to work out with someone so shallow.
Maybe I’m all screwy on this expectation due to my early hair removal/gender shakeup: my dad has shaved his pits 4 times a year for as long as I can remember. For the same reason I do. Funny.
Seriously, sometimes I think it would be best to just move to France, where no one cares about silly things like this.
Comment by kissiegrrrl — January 25, 2010 @ 12:09 am
[...] | February 12, 2010 Hey people its Danny again. Its been a few weeks since my last post so let’s get to [...]
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